I should text him. I thought to myself. Well, he did like you Rose at one point in time. I looked out the window of my dressing room. The view was breathtaking and thought indulging. The runway of the airport stretched farout and wide till as far as I could see. The lights were beginning to ignite. Lilac and powder pink were mating and it was giving a sweet afterglow color to the horizon.
It was my elder brother’s birthday the day after; july 21st 2007.i had planned a perty he had no clue about. Why am I even planning his surprise party? I am not attached to him; I hate his guts. Well maybe it will be a nice farewell for him;with all his close friends and family because he leaves for Lahore the week proceeding his birthday.
But should I text John? I fumbled through the diary pages where I had written down all my brother’s friends contact numbers. My eyes stuck on John’s. John Benedict. My high school love. Well, love really though. I remember crying for him. Yes, it was love for sure. I ‘wanted’ him. I used to spend hours thinking about him. Craving for his attention; praying he would look at me like he’ll..i don’t know?consider me ? But he didn’t. I dropped hints,flirted even but then he moved on and out. After highschool I haven’t seen him. Oh how I want to see him.
He was a very good looking guy wasn’t he? I pondered. A broad face,rockstar hair,tall. A crooked smile.Oh that smile…And his eyes when he looked at me.His piercing gaze;as if he could see right through me.I felt exposed and naked each time. It made me feel escalated. As if im standing on the top of a very very tall building; overlooking the world before me .Each vein throbbing with mirth and fulfilling satisfaction. I haven’t felt that feeling in a long time. Because I haven’t seen him in a long time! Neither have met anyone like him.
I moved over to my bed, propped the diary open against the pillow and read out his number. 0321284291. Okay, here goes nothing. I started to type.
Hi,this is Rose.
No.delete delete delete. It shouldn’t look typical. And I shouldn’t look desperate. Maybe I should text like im sending this one text to everyone of the invitees so that he doesn’t feel that I texted him specially. That’s fine.Ok .
Hi guys. This is Rose.Im holding
This surprise party for Moheet’s birthday.
You all are invited.Its the day after at my place,
around 6.Reply back to confirm your availability.
I stared at the screen of my cell phone. What if he doesn’t reply? He will. Let’s just wait. Ok.
I’ll write about anything and everything. Hope you go through me and i will go through you 😉